The Hunger Games’ Prequel: A Ballad of Sighs & Eye Rolls

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes (2023)

Running Time: 2h 37m

Age Rating: PG-13

Genres: Action, Drama

My Rating: 🐍🐍

As a huge fan of the Hunger Games book trilogy, I never managed to finish reading the fourth book of the entire series. I just couldn't get into it as it felt like a pointless prequel that nobody asked for. Recently, I heard that the movie adaptation is in theaters now, and I thought, maybe, just maybe, the movie would be better than the book. Wishing that the odds may be ever in my favor, I decided to watch The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes and give it a chance.

So, there I sat, popcorn in hand, a sparkle of optimism in my eyes, ready for the movie to do the impossible—to shine where the book had dulled. 

Sadly, I was wrong. The movie turned out to be as boring as the book, and I honestly don’t know how I managed to sit through it. The unnecessary book led to nothing but an equally unasked-for movie. The story adds nothing to enhance the original trilogy. It's like pouring salt on a wound, but instead of salt, it's just more dullness. 

First of all, the acting was so bad, I couldn’t tell if it was intentional or if they really were terrible at doing their job. Throughout the entire film, I couldn't help but wonder if the cast were competing for the title of the "Most Stiff and Dry Robots Award" as everyone literally seemed emotionless. It felt like they had taken a solemn vow against showing any sort of genuine human feeling. All the characters are extremely unlikeable, making the movie too hard to watch. And to be honest, my heart broke seeing Viola Davis being a part of this boring torture.

But I have to admit that the most irritating character of them all is Lucy Gray Braid, played by Rachel Zegler. Oh, the cringe! From the moment she made her initial appearance, singing at the reaping after slyly planting a snake in the mayor’s daughter’s dress, I wanted to dig a hole and hide. Her portrayal was more obnoxious than in the book, if that's even possible. She tried so hard to be a badass female lead, but all she managed to be was a mediocre brat. Every time she opened her mouth, I found myself desperately begging for silence.

And don't even get me started on that rose petal scene. Let's just say, my eyes needed a serious cleanse after witnessing it. Acting like she's some sort of A-list celebrity, Lucy Gray keeps giving orders to her mentor Coriolanus Snow, played by Tom Blyth, like she owns the place. Last time I checked, a normal girl facing imminent death in the Hunger Games doesn't act like the queen of the world! And I'm not sure what was worse, her acting or my decision to keep watching the movie.

The only saving grace was Sejanus Plinth, portrayed by Josh Andres Rivera. He was the voice of reason and relatability in this hot mess of a movie, but of course, they just had to kill him off. Sigh… The rest of the characters were as bland as a slice of white bread, leaving me craving some much-needed flavor.

And if we must talk themes—savages versus the civilized. The movie tries to portray a contrast between both, with Snow gradually transforming from a sympathetic protagonist to a ruthless villain. This theme is handled in a superficial manner, relying on clichés and stereotypes; a little nuance would've been nice but nope, we get served heavy-handed tropes on a silver platter of cringe. 

In terms of action and suspense, this prequel falls short in comparison to the previous Hunger Games films. Scenes at the arena were so rushed, turning out to be a complete mess and cringe-worthy with the tributes killing each other in a poorly designed and executed arena. 

Last but not least, the ending was absurd, with our dear Lucy Gray figuring out that Coriolanus is a triple murderer, and deciding to set a little trap for him with a snake. Genius plan, right? Well, guess what? He miraculously manages to survive the deadly serpent's bite and shoots Lucy Gray. Yet, here's the kicker – where's the body? Poof! Vanished into thin air! Did she pull off the greatest disappearing act in the history of Panem? Your guess is as good as mine!

By the end of this mind-boggling film, all I can say is that I haven’t learned a single thing about the origins of the Hunger Games. So, If you're a fan of the trilogy like me, prepare to be utterly disappointed cause all you’ll learn about is the story of Lucy Gray Braid, not even the story of Coriolanus Snow as the movie barely explains why he became the evil mastermind behind the Hunger Games.

To sum up, The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes is a two-hour-and-a-half of boredom that deserves a rating of "Meh" out of five. So, if you’re planning to watch it, grab your popcorn and get ready to be served up a bland dish of yawns topped with a generous sprinkle of cringe.